it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
