Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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