I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
