i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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