just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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