Cold hands, warm shart.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
