Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
