You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
