so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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