I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
