i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
