kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
