we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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