Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Your tits are I can't wait for
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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