just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You can't special order awesome
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
