last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Send help, water and tortillas.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
