Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize