I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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