note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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