Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I currently don't understand fingers.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
