dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
