Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
