His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
