Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
