tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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