she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
