I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
