Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This is my gift to your gina
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
