I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
