she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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