Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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