I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
