so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
