he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
