Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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