Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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