Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
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