Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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