I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
