oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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