Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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