I think my vagina is haunted
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
