AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
