I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize