I love black thongs
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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