:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
