Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
