So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
