I wish my penis had an off switch
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
