do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
