Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
