dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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