I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize