maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
