I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
