what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
