Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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