we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
