u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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