He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
