What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
